


An Endless Pit

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Drinking, Drug Abuse, His sisters help him, M/M, Nico is kind of destroyed on the inside, Nico recovering from depression, Really depressing, Self Harm, depressed!Nico
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 07:50:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5326397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico is extremely depressed and needs a way to get out of the endless pit he's in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Endless Pit

**Author's Note:**

> Guys this really is super depressing. The first chapter is just kind of a snapshot of what the story is going to be like. Later chapters will show more depressed Nico. I'm not actually sure whether Percy and Nico will ever get together. Nico will definitely recover from his extreme depression though. 
> 
> Next update will come after The Imperial Ambition because I promised that first. I just had the inspiration for this and had to write it. Hope you guys like it.
> 
> I actually think I'm kind of crying because it's that sad......

### An Endless Pit

God that boy had been beautiful. He still was really. The only difference between then and now, is that now they weren’t friends anymore. It must seem stupid, people lose friends all the time really, but this was different. Percy was different.

And here I was, just sitting against a wall, I’d already downed three shots of straight whiskey, two Oxy’s, and now the razor was in my hands. Just another Saturday night for me. Instead of just jumping into the here and now though- because that was depressing as fuck- let’s go back to where all this started. 

It was all happy go lucky at school, okay maybe not, but it was much better than it is now. I had my group of friends, which at the time contained the biggest crush of my lifetime, Percy Jackson.

The only person I really confessed this to was my best friend at the time Jason Grace. It was all fine, I realized that Percy probably wouldn’t ever reciprocate my feelings, and I’d just have to get over it. In the meantime I had two other boyfriends, just to soak up the pain, and countless one night stands. I was really only sixteen at the time, but people always think I’m older than I actually am. 

Of course, the whole world came crashing down one day. People at school found out that I was gay and then the bullying got worse. I was always used to it, it got so much worse though. My friends started to drift away from me slowly, I’d already shunned Jason and refused to make eye contact with Percy.

That brought us to the ‘depressing as fuck here and now’. I still had a few friends at school of course, my sisters Hazel and Bianca still talked to me, and Leo and Piper made contact occasionally. I didn’t need them anyway, I was done with humanity.

This was my coping mechanism. Whenever I thought about something mean someone had said, I just took another shot, it numbed the pain so that the words just bounced off. Whenever I thought of the punching, kicking, and all the other physical things they did to me, I just popped another pill, it numbed the physical pain better than anything.

After my little coping pity party, I felt invincible, and so in a combination of an effort of trying to make my pain tangible, and just to check if I was still there under all the drugs and alcohol, I cut.

People say it’s stupid for me to hurt myself, but I don’t hurt myself for other people do I? Whenever I pressed that razor just hard enough so it cut the skin, and the beautiful red blossom of blood appeared around it, I knew I was still there. Underneath it all, I was still here. So I just set my head back up against the wall and slashed. I cut until all of my pain was expressed. This was what I did instead of painting, writing, sports, or something else. My pain, frustration, and ideas were spilled out of me with my very own blood. And I loved every second of it.

Apparently, the razor cut had been a bit too deep, I passed out soon after I’d etched a cut in my arm almost a foot long. The world faded, from color to an almost grayscale look. Then black creeped into the edges of my vision, and the world faded to black.

The next thing I know, is when I’m coming to on the floor of my sister’s room. That’s good. We’ve been through this enough times so that she knows I don’t want to go the hospital, no matter how much she thinks I need it. Bianca is holding a wet towel to my forehead, I can angle my eyes down just far enough to see that there is gauze wrapped around the arm I had flayed open. 

Hazel was on the bed, looking quite concerned as well. My sisters always tried to look out for me, but they didn’t understand that they would be the only ones who cared if I had bled out onto my floor. 

That’s the other thing, my parents don’t really care about my health, well being, emotions, or existence. My father Hades was a well known defense attorney, so he had no time to look over me or to be a proper father. My step-mother was a stay at home mom though, so it was all fine? No. She really hated me. She thought I just did the drugs and self-harm for attention, and she wasn’t going to give it to me. So be it, I didn’t want her attention. 

My fourth year of highschool induced hell had just begun not two months ago, and already life at school sucked. Nothing had changed from my Junior year, and the bullying was worse than ever, but it didn’t matter because I was invincible. I could hide behind my drugs and drinks, all they would ever be is assholes. I win.

My sister Bianca had decided to take a year off between getting her undergrad and going to graduate school. She said she really just wanted to take care of me. Of course, I told her to just go back and pursue her career, she didn’t need me. 

Hazel, my younger sister, by only four months, was also extremely worried about me. She was the one who’d saved me from overdosing twice in the past year. They were truly the only people in my world who cared enough.

Both of them said that I had friends, but I’d just shut them out. What do they know? They could never spend a day in my shoes. I loved them to death, except when they tried to give me advice on what to do with my life.

Bianca shattered the contemplative silence in the room. “Nico, you really need some help, we can’t keep doing this all the time. I can’t stand it anymore! I won’t stand by and just watch you ensure your own self destruction! You’re my little brother and I’m going to fix this… I don’t know how but… I-...” She broke down into tears.

I should’ve reacted, but I didn’t. The person that had just saved my life for the millionth time was crouched over me, crying her eyes out, and it was up to my younger sister to come and help her. Hazel just kept trying to comfort her and tell her everything would be okay. I just felt like I needed more Oxy and Vodka.

Like she always does, Persephone- my aforementioned step mom- walked into the room, “Are you three done with this pathetic little pity party? Bianca, Hazel, I don’t know why you deal with this! You both have promising lives ahead of you, he’s nothing but a burden. Lunch is ready if depressed druggie can make it downstairs without your help.” She walked out and Bianca burst into tears again.


End file.
